Lost while Searching

I came across a great post over at BusyGirl today.  The last bit gives me some hope..that I may find my way in life and find my calling.  Interestingly, prior to reading her post, I had been emailing with my friend Hawley about fear.  Specifically, my fear of committing to a career and the paralysis this fear creates.  Here is a little bit of what I wrote:

I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.  I guess I find myself a bit fearful about the next step and whether it’s the right path.  I’ve never thought of myself as fearful..but that is exactly where I am.  Ha…I guess I just now realized that as I was typing it to you.  That fear has kind of paralyzed me from moving on in any direction.  Acknowledgement is the first step to moving past that..right?

I’ve never been able to pinpoint exactly WHAT is holding me back from making a decision.  I’ve realized…it’s FEAR! Fear of failure, fear of picking the WRONG path, fear of rejection.

We’ve talked about fear a lot in Bible study…but for some reason I just never owned my fear, I didn’t see myself as fearful.  I saw myself as someone unable to decide on a career or unable to see my calling, but never fearful.

But in order to experience failure, rejection, or identify that the path you are on is wrong…you’ve got to go in SOME direction, not just continue to be stagnant.  So, it’s high time I push through the fear and head down a single path.

What I really liked about Nicole’s post was the acceptance of the ability to change paths.  Sometimes the path you are on is merely to lead you to a better path.  Wherever I end up, I want to be passionate about my work and I want to make a difference in this world.